ZBrush is a 32-bit app. As such, your operating system won’t give it more than 4 GB of RAM. Adding more will accomplish nothing. ZBrush 5 will be 64-bits, but I have no information regarding when it will be arriving. And 64-bits has other issues, such as 10-15% slower performance than the same program in 32-bits (something that kind of makes a difference when you’re sculpting millions of polys in real-time).
Depending on how long you’ve been working on the project, your undo history may have gotten large enough to tip the scales. Try turning on Preferences >> Undo History >> Skip Loading. If your file then loads, immediately save it again – preferably as a ZTL (using Tool >> Save As) since that does not store Undo History or a number of other things that can increase the file size. There are of course a number of other things you can do at that point to reduce the file size, such as getting rid of unnecessary layers, decimation, retopology, etc.