I love occassionally posting a cute joke…my sis N law sends me a ton of em…but I hope you all smile as much as I did with this corny tid bit…Grandma Bought a Bumper Sticker For Her Old Buick
she writes:
The other day I went to the local religious bookstore where I saw a
“Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the
bumper of my car and I’m really glad that I did. What an uplifting
experience followed.
I was stopped at a red light of a busy intersection. I was so lost in
thought about the Lord, I didn’t even notice that the light had
changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who
love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy! He must
really love the Lord because soon he leaned out his window and yelled
“Jesus Christ!” as loud as he could. Why, it was like a football game
with him shouting “Go, Jesus Christ GO!” Everyone else started honking
too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all those loving
people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I
could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and I saw him
waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I had recently asked my two grandsons what that meant. They kind of
squirmed, looked at each other, giggled, and told me it was the Hawiian
good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck
sign back.
A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and were walking towards me. I bet they
wanted to pray. But, just then I noticed that the light had changed,
and I stepped on the gas. It’s a good thing I did, because I was the
only one to get across the intersection.
I looked back at them standing there. I leaned out the window, gave the
a big smile, and held up the Hawiian Good Luck sign as I drove away.
Love you all…Grandma
new one of the day
There was an old guy wandering around the
supermarket calling out, “Crisco, Crisco!”
Finally a store clerk approached.
“Sir, the Crisco is in aisle five.”
“Oh,” replied the old gentleman, “I’m not looking for cooking Crisco, I
am calling my wife.”
"Your wife is named “Crisco?”
“Nah,” he answered, “I only call her that when
we’re out in public.”
“Oh? What do you call her when you are at home?”
“Lard ass.”
REFUNDS…and my sis does it again …
Refunds LOL
Charlene goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the
Toaster she bought because it doesn’t work. The clerk tells her that he
can’t give her a refund because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden, Charlene throws her arms up in the air and starts
screaming “GRAB MY BREASTS!! GRAB MY BREASTS!!!”
The clerk, not knowing what to do, runs to get the store manager.
The manager comes up to Charlene and asks, “What’s wrong?”
She explains the situation with the toaster. He tells her that he can’t
give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, Charlene throws her arms up in the air and starts
screaming “GRAB MY BREASTS!! GRAB MY BREASTS!!!”
In shock, the store manager pleads, “Ma’am, why are you saying
that?”
In a huff, Charlene says, “BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY BREASTS GRABBED
WHEN I’M GETTING *****ED!!!”
