ZBrushCentral

European English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-English.”
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c.” Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour
of the"k." This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f.” This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e’s” in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v.”
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!

**
I thought a little joke might lighten the mood, zomething I picked up at a gaming forum.

:smiley: good one gummie! :+1:

cool how the language evolves

Ya I laft and laft. Zank u. :smiley: :+1:

Fielen dank fur diezen wits gummie.
greetings

BoBoNo

:+1: :+1: :+1:

But, with something like the “Rechtschreibreform” on your back (if you were a German), you could easily believe such things come to happen!!

anyway: lots of laughs - parts of it are SOOOO real (again: if you are German!)!! :slight_smile:

Hilarious!
I found as I read through in my head I was developing an accent reminiscent of John Cleese in Fawlty Towers. :smiley:
Don’t mention…
:smiley:

Yessen !!! Is my englis !!! More facil !! hehehehe :smiley:

Hi Gummie
Are you an Oulipo’s member? :slight_smile:
Pilou

Hi guys, :+1:
Frenchy, I’m not an Oulipo’s member also I didn’t write this great piece. found it passed along at a gaming forum I used to visit. :slight_smile:

Something someone dug up, an oldie but a goodie. :wink:

It actually had me going for a few lines.

Oulipo?..
Hmm, I found this great quote…“The more constraints one imposes, the more one frees oneself of the chains that shackle the spirit… the arbitrariness of the constraint only serves to obtain precision …”
Igor Stravinsky

Hi Gummie
I see that you have make an researh on Gogle or similar :slight_smile:
Your Igor’s maxim was in the second link of Goggle :slight_smile:
So now you know Oulipo :slight_smile:
Pilou
Ps Igor was not an uolipian :slight_smile:

Yes, I was not quite sure what an uolipian was or what it meant.
Come to think of it, I’m still not sure! :smiley:

I actually checked on Igor too, then I finally came to think they must be some sort of abstract poets.
:slight_smile: