>
>> Brand New 2003 Edition of “You know you’re a redneck when…”
>> >
>> >* You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.
>> >* You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a
>>flyswatter.
>> >* Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
>> >* You burn your yard rather than mow it.
>> >
>> >* The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
>> >* You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they
don’t
>>want it.
>> >* You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
>> >* You come back from the dump with more than you took.
>> >* You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
>> >* Your wife can climb a tree faster t! han your cat.
>> >* Your grandmother has “ammo” on her Christmas list.
>> >* You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
>> >* You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
>> >* You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program.
>> >* You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
>> >* You have a rag for a gas cap.
>> >* Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
>> >* You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
>> >* You can spit without opening your mouth.
>> >* You consider your license plate personalized because; your
father
>>made it.
>> >* Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
>> >* You have a complete set of! salad bowls and they all say “Cool
Whip”
>>on the side.
>> >* The biggest city you’ve ever been to is Walmart.
>> >* Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
>> >* You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table.
>> >* A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of
>>improvements.
>> >* You’ve used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
>> >* You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury
duty.
>> >* You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
>> >And last, but not least…
>> >* Somebody tells you that you’ve got something in your teeth, so
you
>>take them out to see what it is !