Gotta love it…heeheehee…
One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street
when he saw his buddy
Bubba
driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to
him with a wide grin.
“Bubba, where’d you get that truck?!?” “Bobby Sue
gave it to me” Bubba
replied. “She gave it to you? I knew she was
kinda sweet on ya, but a new
truck?” "Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what
happened.
We were driving out on County Road 6, in the
middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue
pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel
drive, and headed into the
woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off
all her clothes and said,
‘Bubba, take whatever you want’.
So I took the truck!"
“Bubba, you’re a smart man!. Them clothes woulda
never fit you”.
MARRIAGE JOKES
Some of these are good…
It has been studied and determined that the most often used sexual
position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits
up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, “This will make
you happy tonight.” He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I
squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn’t get back in
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world”
The woman says, “I’ll miss you.”
“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, “honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?”
“Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to make love to
you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded
On wall in ladies room “My husband follows me everywhere…”
Written just below it “I do not”
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That’s a good idea…you stand by the ironing board while
I sit on the sofa and fart.
He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
How to tell if yer a redneck…muhahahahahhahaa I resemble the first one 
-
The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than
your spouse. -
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front
of her kids. -
You’ve been married three times and still have the same
in-laws. -
You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a
different night. -
Jack Daniel’s makes your list of “most admired people.”
-
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so
clean. -
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: “Hey
watch this.” -
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
-
Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
-
Your junior prom had a daycare.
-
You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are: “Gentlemen,
start your engines.” -
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
wheels. -
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much
gas is in it. -
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
-
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
-
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos. -
You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against
it. -
You think “loaded dishwasher” means your wife is drunk.
-
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
-
Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
